This blog thing is so new and novel to me that anytime I want to post something, I have to go to Nicole's blog to find the link to my blog! I am not technical enough to find my own blog... Sad. A few of you have said to me, "We've only seen one post so far, pretty lame Nathan!" OK, here's another one :)
A quick thought about my sweet little niece, June. We just arrived here in California last night, and I saw something which was very profound last night. I'll just transcribe what I wrote in my prayer journal this morning:
"Addiction to self is truly intoxicating. It starts with a craving for it; then lust (inordinate desire) for it; then when you get it, intoxication; then you crash and have to have more....and every human being is a BORN JUNKIE. I noticed last night that one of June's motivators is applause (June is my precious one year old niece). Last night, to motivate her to put up her toys everyone in the living room applauded when she put something away. Each time we clapped she looked around the room at each and every one of us with an expression of delight and GLEE. And suddenly, I saw a carbon copy of myself standing in front of me! The only difference is I have gray hair and 180 lbs. on her! And yet, God's Word is utterly unambiguous about this (and I see why now): 'How can you believe when you receive glory from one another, and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?' - Jesus, in John 5:44. And again, in John 12:43 it says that among the authorities, many believed in Christ but they would not confess it publicly because they feared that the Pharisees would kick them out of the synagogue: '...for they (the authorities who feared the Pharisees) loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.'"
I believe that even in that little one year old heart is a growing desire for praise, approval, and acceptance from others. And as strong as ever, in this 31 year old heart, is the very same craving. I'm much better at masking it, of course. When people say nice things to me or about me, I pretend like it's no big deal. But in reality, it's much closer to a shot of drugs in my veins.
And given this truth about human nature, is it any wonder why people become so neurotic, narcissistic, and fearful? We put ourselves completely at the mercy of others. Whatever you place as your ultimate value, that is the thing that controls you. That is your functional 'God.' How wonderful, as a child of God, to have the possibility of being free from what others think of me. By grace, the reality of that will increase.
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bloggin now i see.... never expected that coming, but living overseas has a way of doing that to you. Our values do control us, don't they? Good point, they can be like prisons that we are captive to, whether that is to ourself, comfort, a good rep, etc. Had a good night last night at youth at BHR, but the kids had to hold back their tears not having you around...
ReplyDeleteI didn't even know you had a blog! I like it....you should write more often in your abundance of free time. :)
ReplyDeleteAmy E.